A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Rosh Hashana Sermon 5768

Delivered by Rabbi Jablon

Last week I was visiting some members at a senior's residence. There I struck up a conversation with a lady. She said to me, "My daughter placed me here". I thought to myself, "Here it comes - a long tirade about why she doesn't belong there and that her children were making her old before her time." But she continued, "I suppose I need to be here. I suffered a stroke and lost the use of my right leg and arm. You know, Rabbi, I am fortunate. I have been told that a stroke on the right side often travels to the face and causes a loss of speech. I am blessed that it stopped where it did or else I would not be able to speak, and that would be terrible for a woman like me."

This woman taught me a lesson. Ask people what is most important in life and the most common answer is health. We even say in Yiddish "Abi Gezunt" - as long as you have your health. But she taught me that just as health is indispensable, so is a positive attitude indispensable. Her reaction echoes the words of Anne Frank, "I do not think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains."

William James, the pioneer American psychologist said "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude." Imagine that ! Without an extra dollar or new car, you can alter your life if you can choose to change your attitude.

On the other festivals we say "Chag Sameach," which means have a joyous holiday. On Rosh Hashana, we say "Shana Tova", have a good year. We ask for the ability to see the good in what we have.

I heard about a 92 year old woman who entered a nursing home. The administrator offered to show her a romm to see if she would like it. "I like it." she said.

"But you haven't even seen the room," the administrator responded.

"That does not have anything to do with it, " she replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. I have already decided to love it."

Who was the first to introduce the notion of positive thinking? If you answer Norman Vincent Peale, you are wrong. It was the A-mighty Himself. After each stage of creation, He declared that it was good. It wasn't necessary to make this declaration. G-d could have just moved to the next stage. We can learn from this that we should take note of the good things around us. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "the sun shines and warms us and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so. But we ask the reason for all evil of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people". If something is good in our lives we should say it's good and this generates positive feelings.

Each day of creation can teach us a lesson in acquiring a positive attitude. Allow me to focus on the first three days.

On day one, G-d said "Let there be light….and G-d saw that it was good." His informs us that if you want to feel good, create light. The prophet Isaiah elaborated: "If you draw out your soul to the hungry and relieve men in misery, then light shall dawn for you in darkness and your dull bones shall be bright as noon." The gloom in a person's soul can be dispelled by the light that he kindles in another soul. As one clever person put it, "If you fall, pick someone up". If you are down, pick up somebody's feeling and your mood will change.

The second day corresponds to Monday, so we can expect trouble, and there was. On day two, G-d separated the waters above and the waters below. Nobody likes to be told to change their place, and neither did the waters which were forced to move. They complained. What's more, the work of day two wasn't completed until day three. Lo and behold, G-d doesn't say on day two that it was good.

You may think, "Aha! Even G-d can have a bad day" When we look further, however, a very positive message emerges.

Martin Seligman, an American psychologist studied optimism and pessimism. He found that optimists and pessimists share many similarities. They have similar levels of intelligence and come from similar kinds of families. A crucial difference is how each group responds to adversity. Pessimists tend to react to it as though it was permanent while optimists view is as temporary.

I knew a student who baffled his teachers. He was intelligent and at the top of his class at the beginning of the school year. Inevitably a day would come when he had trouble understanding the lesson (which is normal for anyone). From then on, it was downhill. He never recovered from that difficult day. Apparently, he believed like a pessimist, that his inability to comprehend was permanent.

The story of creation wants to dispel this negative notion. Yes, Monday didn't go well. This however was a passing stage. Day three improved greatly. In fact on day three, G-d said twice that it was good.

Day three is very interesting. G-d told the earth to bring forth vegetation. G-d specifically called for fruit trees which produce fruit. This means that the tree itself should taste like the fruit. The earth, however disobeyed (Apparently, G-d granted a degree of free will to the earth during creation). It brought forth trees which did not taste like its fruit. The earth reasoned that if the bark tasted good, people would cut down all the trees for consumption.

At the end of the day G-d said that it was good. How could He say this! It didn't turn out exactly the way he wanted. We see from this that something doesn't have to be perfect for it to be good.

I had an acquaintance who built a beautiful home in upstate New York. The material and design were of the highest quality. Surprisingly the light fixture in the den was off-center. "What's this?" I asked. "The electrician made a mistake," my friend answered. "If he'll come back, he'll fix it.

"And what if he doesn't come back?" I continued.

"If he doesn't come back, it will remain where it is. And that's fine. I love the house the way it is."

Honestly, I was more impressed with the light fixtures than any other part of the house. It was a testament to man's capacity to live with a situation which isn't perfect and to enjoy it. Every time I visit, I make it a point to step into that room just to look at that light.

I'm not sure that we are doing a service to our children and grandchildren by making everything perfect for them. Life is not perfect - there are ups and downs. But this young man or woman has been raised to have unrealistic expectations which opens the way to disappointments and frustrations.

I am not going to analyze each day, but one aspect demands an explanation. Why doesn't G-d say on Shabbat that it was good? I believe the answer is that G-d doesn't have to say it on Shabbat. The seventh day is "Kulo Tov," - completely and obviously good. G-d wanted to show us how to see good on the other days of the week when we're struggling and competing, when people disappoint us and we disappoint ourselves. Even then, see the good!

Recently much attention has been given in Israel to a true hero. His name is Dr. Rachmin Melamed Cohen. Dr. Cohen held a leading position in the Israeli Ministry of Education and pioneered special education programs. Thirteen years ago, Dr. Melamed Cohen was diagnosed with ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease. Gradually, he lost his ability to walk, feed himself, and breathe without a respirator. Today he is totally paralyzed, on life support, and communicates only by his eye movements which are detected by sensors and converts them to words on the computer screen.

Despite the magnitude of his problems, he prays three times a day (someone comes to put tefillin on him), studies Torah for an hour, writes books (he has written nine books since contracting ALS), answers an average twenty e-mails each day, does art work on his computer, administers a small yeshiva, and reads books and newspapers. He calls these years of total paralysis the best years of his life.

Though it's clear that he is a very special case, people with physical, mental, and emotional problems from all walks of life draw strength from Dr. Melamed Cohen. Seeing someone in his condition be upbeat, active, and diligent gives them the courage to be the same with their lesser problems.

Dr. Melamed Cohen developed a positive attitude while he was health. He uses humour a great deal. He focuses on those parts of his body where he still has some control. Most importantly he has found a mission - to give encouragement to others.

May Hashem bless with us all the good things in the coming year. May he also bless us with a positive attitude to see the good in everything we have and don't have.

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